The Armed Republic of Ted Town is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by The Founder with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, complete lack of prisons, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.62 billion Ted Townsians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tedstein Island. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Ted Townsian economy, worth a remarkable 2,372 trillion Ted bucks a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 422,230 Ted bucks, with the richest citizens earning 8.1 times as much as the poorest.

Nuclear warheads are frequently launched into space as a warning to invading meteoroids, extraordinary rendition is nothing out of the ordinary, a National Academy regulates grammar and usage, and there is a growing belief that consciousness is a simulated illusion within a computer-generated reality. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ted Town's national animal is the crackle, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Tedism.

Ted Town is ranked 2,639^th in the world and 1^st in Bep nation for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 10,926.12 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.