The Holy Black Christmas Easter of Teh War Machine is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Patrick with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, flagrant waste-dumping, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 9.251 billion Teh War Machineans are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. The average income tax rate is 96.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Teh War Machinean economy, worth a remarkable 7,027 trillion Gold Bars a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Soda Sales. Average income is a breathtaking 759,638 Gold Bars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 6,816,922 per year while the poor average 10,770, a ratio of 632 to 1.

Children who can't memorize their multiplication tables are sent to the mines, the nation's student exchange programs are something of a one way street, major cities are suffering under water rationing, and the first half of cabinet meetings include Patrick complaining about the reasonable nation theory (Teh War Machine has found 13 easter eggs). Crime is totally unknown. Teh War Machine's national animal is the Bat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Teh War Machine is ranked 13,266^th in the world and 703^rd in Balder for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 7,561.05 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.