The Parish of Tensas is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its compulsory military service, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 24.685 billion Tensasians are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The tiny, moralistic, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saint Joseph. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.5%.

The thriving Tensasian economy, worth 942 trillion dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is quite specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 38,183 dollars, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 209,725 per year while the poor average 3,533, a ratio of 59.4 to 1.

The alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, Tensas has designated Saint Joseph as its capital city, a major religion has been named as Tensas's national religion, and Leader has just been declared ruler of Tensas in an international press conference. Crime is a serious problem, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Tensas's national animal is the stork, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Tensas is ranked 263,585^th in the world and 11^th in County for Nudest, with 56.25 cheeks per square mile.