The State of Tetum is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, renowned for its absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 36.685 billion Tetumians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Douglas Heights. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.9%.

The thriving Tetumian economy, worth a remarkable 1,789 trillion betales a year, is dominated by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Uranium Mining, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 48,779 betales, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 147,661 per year while the poor average 12,538, a ratio of 11.8 to 1.

Surveillance cameras are banned, military funding has been stripped back, young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables, and Tetum has designated Douglas Heights as its capital city. Crime is a problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Tetum's national animal is the deer, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Tetum is ranked 174,329^th in the world and 8^th in Timor Leste for Most Primitive, scoring -67.45 on the Scary Big Number Scale.