The Armed Republic of Texias is a huge, cultured nation, ruled by Johnquavioustavious III with a fair hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, keen interest in outer space, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 894 million Texians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Johnquavioustavious. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 49.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Texiasian economy, worth 111 trillion Chocolate Coins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 124,832 Chocolate Coins, with the richest citizens earning 7.7 times as much as the poorest.

The nation was recently voted "most likely to betray its allies", lovesick people are told 'it's not them, it's you', small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome, and homeowners on prime real estate have been seen dodging giant bulldozers with cartoon characters painted on them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Texias's national animal is the Rattlesnake, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Texias is ranked 74,582^nd in the world and 10^th in Imperial Sanctuary for Lowest Crime Rates, with 69.5 law-abiding acts per hour.