The Advocate of the Bagel of The Age of Utopia is a titanic, cultured nation, remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, punitive income tax rates, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 15.411 billion Utopians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Akropali. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Utopian economy, worth a remarkable 3,084 trillion Utopian Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 200,167 Utopian Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A town hall is called each time a kid asks how far away the sun is, The Age of Utopia is sometimes referred to as the global janitor, diplomats agree to the terms and conditions of peace treaties without reading them, and the numbers on the latest spending report are reaching stellar levels. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Age of Utopia's national animal is the Northern Utopian Penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Cakeitalism.

The Age of Utopia is ranked 220,554^th in the world and 2,829^th in the South Pacific for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -3.74 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.