The Glorious Book Smart Farts of The Finntopian Empire is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Lord Wolfgang Storm Heisenberg with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, smutty television, and unlimited-speed roads. The compassionate, hard-working, cheerful population of 8.366 billion Finntopians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heisenburg. The average income tax rate is 72.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Finntopian economy, worth a remarkable 2,229 trillion Labour Vouchers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 266,453 Labour Vouchers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Jack Russells have proven to be terrible spies, Lord Wolfgang Storm Heisenberg has declared a weed sticking through a crack in the sidewalk to be the nation's newest green space, the pursuit of wanted criminals ends at the entrance of the pay'n'spray garage as police refuse to enter any private property, and babies are a small but significant export. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. The Finntopian Empire's national animal is the Penguin, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Robe-ism.

The Finntopian Empire is ranked 293,325^th in the world and 4^th in The Finntopian Region of DOOM for Lowest Crime Rates, with 5.23 law-abiding acts per hour.