The Holy Sultanate of Tisakstan is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Alaquas with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, smutty television, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.373 billion Tisakstanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Al Alaquas. The average income tax rate is 79.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Tisakstanian economy, worth 182 trillion Mards a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 132,593 Mards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Laser-wielding robots are taking aim at human hearts, actively encouraging climate change is helping reduce winter fuel costs, declaring that "some kids are just born evil" is not endearing Alaquas to progressive thinkers, and cheese lovers have a case of the bleus. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tisakstan's national animal is the Pigeon, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Al Alaq.

Tisakstan is ranked 281,637^th in the world and 23^rd in The waters for Smartest Citizens, with 16.37 quips per hour.