The Confederacy of Tortugashima is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Master Splinter with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, parental licensing program, and strictly enforced bedtime. The compassionate, devout population of 12.353 billion Tortugans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New York City. The average income tax rate is 59.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Turtleshelled economy, worth a remarkable 1,441 trillion pizze al taglio shurikens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 116,670 pizze al taglio shurikens, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The roads are notorious throughout the region for their peril, elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation, elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume, and citizens are now allowed to discuss whether Master Splinter is the greatest ruler ever or simply the greatest ruler of this generation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tortugashima's national animal is the ninja turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Ninjutsu.

Tortugashima is ranked 38,536^th in the world and 2^nd in Archai for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 49.62 on the Kitten Softness Rating.