The Protectorate of Touche Turtle is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Touche Turtle with a fair hand, and remarkable for its state-planned economy, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.631 billion Testudineses love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Great Shell. The average income tax rate is 64.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Touche Turtlean economy, worth 368 trillion shells a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is 55,544 shells, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends, banning party poppers has been a real party pooper, candidates make campaign speeches at the funerals of former rivals, and marijuana is legal in the privacy of your own home. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Touche Turtle's national animal is the Common snapping turtle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Wicca.

Touche Turtle is ranked 54,982^nd in the world and 1^st in Muni Mula for Lowest Crime Rates, with 77.04 law-abiding acts per hour.