The Watchfires of TRTP is a gargantuan, cultured nation, remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, ban on automobiles, and strictly enforced bedtime. The compassionate population of 28.087 billion TRTPians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 63.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient TRTPian economy, worth a remarkable 2,519 trillion $$s a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 89,708 $$s, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads, the tomato-covered corpses that decorate the nation's cities are a favourite amongst morbid tourists, mountains of VHS tapes of police actions are stacking up in the National Library, and the nation has become a pariah for giving pirates letters of marque. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. TRTP's national animal is the Dolly Varden, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

TRTP is ranked 64,338^th in the world and 1^st in Brussels for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,579.17 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.