The Holy Serene Republic of Ultrasoft is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Thug Life with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, deadly medical pandemics, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 34.371 billion Ultrasoftians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cottonelle. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Ultrasoftonian economy, worth a remarkable 9,966 trillion whatevers a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 289,960 whatevers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high, an IT mega-corporation has a patent pending on the rectangle, owners of man-portable particle accelerator backpacks are advised not to cross the streams, and the government helps teach children how to kill a man from six paces. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Ultrasoft's national animal is the squeaky toy, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Flushable Wipes.

Ultrasoft is ranked 71,475^th in the world and 1^st in Hapes Consortium for Most Corrupt Governments, with 24.7 kickbacks per hour.