The Commonwealth of Valkenstein is a titanic, safe nation, remarkable for its digital currency, smutty television, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 21.196 billion Valkensteiners are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zurik. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Valkensteiner economy, worth an astonishing 10,052 trillion Syns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 474,283 Syns, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,338,788 per year while the poor average 54,795, a ratio of 42.7 to 1.

Thick smog keeps Valkensteiners from looking too far ahead, an increasing number of citizens believe the world is flat, school lockers are filled with fancy underwear, and the right to counsel goes both ways. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Valkenstein's national animal is the Pheonix, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Valkenstein is ranked 322,510^th in the world and 1^st in Hollenthon for Highest Drug Use, scoring 5.08 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.