The Colony of Valtes is a very large, efficient nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 449 million Valtesians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Public Transport also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.3%.

The thriving Valtesian economy, worth 29.8 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Furniture Restoration, and Book Publishing. Average income is 66,333 Dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 220,782 per year while the poor average 14,850, a ratio of 14.9 to 1.

Crime is moderate, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Valtes's national animal is the Double-Headed Eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Valtes is ranked 225,650^th in the world and 1^st in United Patriots Coalition for Most Cultured, scoring 64 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.