The Basileia of Willink is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Basileus Nikephorus I with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, smutty television, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 28.816 billion Willinkians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Industry, although Education and Healthcare are also considered important, while Social Policy and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Salonika. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Willinkian economy, worth a remarkable 5,145 trillion Solidis a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 178,580 Solidis, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,224,083 per year while the poor average 9,358, a ratio of 130 to 1.

Citizens are expected to be armed at all times, breast milk lattes are the newest fad among hip urbanites, Salonika has restaurants serving every meat from aardvark to zebra, and students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Willink's national animal is the Caracal, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Willinkian Orthodox Church.

Willink is ranked 98,555^th in the world and 5^th in Haven for Most Developed, scoring 61.81 on the Human Development Index.