The Sultanate of Zahootan is a titanic, efficient nation, remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, rampant corporate plagiarism, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.596 billion Zahootanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tehran. The average income tax rate is 93.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Zahootanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,981 trillion rials a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Retail, Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 204,274 rials, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The dessert 'Death by Chocolate' isn't the most lethal dish on the menu, The Pipe Bomb Makers' Pop-Up Book can be found in preschool libraries, Tehran's back alleys are rife with sausage eating, and everybody's got wood thanks to Leader. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zahootan's national animal is the falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Zahootan is ranked 301,457^th in the world and 7^th in Iran for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 23.16 on the Bus Surprisal Index.