The Big Ol' Turtle of Zaratan is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its absence of drug laws, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical, devout population of 7.404 billion Zaratanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Spirituality, and Education. The average income tax rate is 69.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but stagnant Zaratanian economy, worth 103 trillion fragments a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Basket Weaving industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Trout Farming. Average income is 13,913 fragments, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zaratan's national animal is the fish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Zaratan is ranked 259,463^rd in the world and 16^th in Bigtopia for Smartest Citizens, with 21.42 quips per hour.