| Population | 4.166 billion |
| Capital | The Fortressa |
| Leader | John Arstotzka |
| Faith | Arstotzkanism |
| Currency | Arstotzkan Credit |
| Animal | Dragon |
The Federal Republic of The Better Arstotzka is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by John Arstotzka with an iron fist, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, ubiquitous missile silos, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.166 billion Better Arstotzkans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."
The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Fortressa. The average income tax rate is 95.4%.
The frighteningly efficient Better Arstotzkan economy, worth a remarkable 1,552 trillion Arstotzkan Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 372,719 Arstotzkan Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.
The nation's government buildings are remarkable for being ugly concrete boxes, in a desperate bid for cheap airfare Better Arstotzkans can be seen jogging in a rubber suit just before flying, a vast monorail network carries people all over the country, and escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Better Arstotzka's national animal is the Dragon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Arstotzkanism.
The Better Arstotzka is ranked 13,048th in the world and 18th in The Brotherhood of Malice for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 9,880.58 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- :
The Better Arstotzka was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Average Incomes, Most Scientifically Advanced, Highest Poor Incomes, and Most Patriotic and the Top 5% for Highest Wealthy Incomes.
- : Following new legislation in The Better Arstotzka, escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky.
- : Following new legislation in The Better Arstotzka, a vast monorail network carries people all over the country.
- : Following new legislation in The Better Arstotzka, in a desperate bid for cheap airfare Better Arstotzkans can be seen jogging in a rubber suit just before flying.
- : Following new legislation in The Better Arstotzka, the nation's government buildings are remarkable for being ugly concrete boxes.
- : Following new legislation in The Better Arstotzka, diplomatic cables about John Arstotzka have suddenly been very flattering.
- : Following new legislation in The Better Arstotzka, medical staff can legally quiet people who ask for a second helping of Salisbury steak.
- : Following new legislation in The Better Arstotzka, sex changes are routinely performed at The Better Arstotzka's hospitals.
- : Following new legislation in The Better Arstotzka, endocrinology is a rapidly growing field of study.
- : Following new legislation in The Better Arstotzka, commuters travel in zigzags to avoid stalking accusations.
