The Constitutional Monarchy of Suomers is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Desider Ludwig Wilhelm von Bismarc with an iron fist, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, strictly enforced bedtime, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 6.818 billion Suomersians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kaliningrad. The average income tax rate is 5.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Suomersian economy, worth a remarkable 1,506 trillion deniers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an amazing 220,974 deniers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Criminals are thrown to the eagles to repay their debt to society, white strait-jackets are the new orange jumpsuits, the nation's most "productive" diamond mine hasn't been operational for seven months, and the possibility of gain causes universal pain. Crime is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Suomers's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Suomers is ranked 276,084^th in the world and 6,021^st in The North Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -11.83 on the Clooney Contribution Index.