The Dictatorship of Tessau is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Tsar Clouseau with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 20.664 billion Pencil-Pushers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dresden. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The large but sluggish Tessauan economy, worth 898 trillion Silvers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is 43,475 Silvers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Police nightsticks see use all day long, government bureaucrats shut down teenage yard-raking businesses for being counter-revolutionary, diplomatic fallout tends to be much more dangerous than radioactive fallout, and those who cut young children are told to cut it out. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tessau's national animal is the Ghost, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pink Panther-ism.

Tessau is ranked 277,875^th in the world and 6,095^th in The North Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 0.41 average smiles per day.