The Great Hegemony of Alabamy is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Hegemon Hextavius XXVII of Alabamy with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, enslaved workforce, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.476 billion Alabamians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Spirituality, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hextaviople. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Alabamian economy, worth a remarkable 1,078 trillion Ælfbordts a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 196,953 Ælfbordts, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

People with hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia faint upon diagnosis, weather forecasts regularly cover meteor showers, murder suspects plead the 'there was a rat beneath his chef's hat' defense, and death is nobody's business. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Alabamy's national animal is the Bald Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Alabamian Arianism.

Alabamy is ranked 330,099^th in the world and 222^nd in Fifth Empire for Nicest Citizens, with 0.16 average smiles per day.