The Holy Gold Christmas Ship of Bad Wallpaper is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Willow Ashford with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, free-roaming dinosaurs, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.534 billion Bad Wallpaperians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ashford City. The average income tax rate is 69.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Bad Wallpaperian economy, worth 201 trillion gold bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 131,050 gold bars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Search-and-rescue organisations are the biggest employer in the country, women who walk into the ladies' changing room are accused of being Peeping Toms, artists are renowned for their ability to make art pieces out of thin air, and customs officers pretend not to hear shouts of "HELP LET ME OUT!" emerging from diplomatic bags. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bad Wallpaper's national animal is the monster, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Bad Wallpaper is ranked 40,176^th in the world and 3^rd in The Powers that Be for Rudest Citizens, with 95.74 insults per minute.