The Cold Metal Bars of Cage is a colossal, cultured nation, notable for its state-planned economy, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 4.985 billion    are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 51.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish    economy, worth 125 trillion   s a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Information Technology, Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 25,146   s, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Thousands of picky mothers-in-law have been recruited to serve as even pickier cookery instructors, kids are arrested at gunpoint for playing with toy rifles,    watches list strained wrists as a common side effect, and citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cage's national animal is the   , which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Cage is ranked 134,696^th in the world and 6^th in Flimsily Constructed Cardboard Box for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 1,730.62 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.