The High Athelingric of Cainitium is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by Asher Wiley with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.271 billion Cainitiumians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Osearwynn. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 72.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Cainitiumian economy, worth a remarkable 1,303 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 157,655 pounds, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 581,642 per year while the poor average 30,154, a ratio of 19.3 to 1.

The nation's holy places are littered with doughnut crumbs, citizens insist that there's no law against standing downwind when marijuana crops are burned off, murderers are immune to arrest while attending their victims' funerals, and the first sword of Cainitium does not run. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cainitium's national animal is the snow leopard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Adoptionism.

Cainitium is ranked 3,206^th in the world and 1^st in Cainitium for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 8,320.95 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.