The Sashmugan of Captian Lard is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by The Swede with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 11.699 billion Lardlings are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The enormous, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stockholm Syndrome. The average income tax rate is 71.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Lardling economy, worth 333 trillion monies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Soda Sales, and Retail. Average income is 28,469 monies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Mollycoddled youths run the country, Captian Lard successfully hosted the Lardyland Olympics, Mr Happy's Funland has just been named Captian Lard's new capital, and The Swede has just been declared ruler of Captian Lard in an international press conference. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Captian Lard's national animal is the silly billy, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Captian Lard is ranked 77,354^th in the world and 5^th in Lardyland for Lowest Crime Rates, with 68.93 law-abiding acts per hour.