The Crown Union of Caruika is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Rìgh Máel-Pátraic ua Gallagher IX with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, lack of airports, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 18.204 billion Caruikans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sgùrr. The average income tax rate is 80.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Caruikan economy, worth a remarkable 2,043 trillion Rodins a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 112,263 Rodins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Paralegals spend all day Hewlett-Packing attorneys' law briefs, illicit spice trade makes desert merchants wrangling worms blush, lending money has become a major liability, and slavery has been abolished. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Caruika's national animal is the Unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Aquamarineism.

Caruika is ranked 251,008^th in the world and 62^nd in Aceon for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 71.04 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.