The Popsicle Pete Nation of Clench is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Joseph with an iron fist, and notable for its vat-grown people, frequent executions, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 40.781 billion follower of Josephs are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry and Healthcare are also considered important, while Social Policy and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Joseph City. The average income tax rate is 98.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Josephic economy, worth an astonishing 42,548 trillion monies a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is a breathtaking 1,043,352 monies, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,748,317 per year while the poor average 140,151, a ratio of 33.9 to 1.

An increasing number of citizens believe the world is flat, industry tycoons rarely hide their misdeeds due to the government's habit of bailing them out, punk rockers smash it up and then clean it up, and directors of low-budget sci-fi films are flocking to use Joseph City as a backdrop. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Clench's national animal is the viper, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Josephism.

Clench is ranked 308,590^th in the world and 6,279^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Primitive, scoring -448.5 on the Scary Big Number Scale.