The County of Cloppenburg is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Count Kilian von Tecklenburg with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, national health service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 3.587 billion Cloppenburgers are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, moralistic government is primarily concerned with Spirituality, although Healthcare, Law & Order, and Education are also considered important, while Industry and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cloppenburg. The average income tax rate is 17.7%.

The Cloppenburger economy, worth 187 trillion marks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Trout Farming, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 52,252 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

Patriots insist that size does matter, there's no cure or sympathy for the common cold, children spend all morning taking out a comma and all afternoon putting it back in again, and Roman Catholicism has been named as Cloppenburg's national religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cloppenburg's national animal is the lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Cloppenburg is ranked 156,775^th in the world and 34^th in Cities for Highest Average Incomes, with 52,252.13 Standard Monetary Units.