The Republic of Consoland is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Consus Magnus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, compulsory military service, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3.128 billion Consolandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Consonia. The average income tax rate is 51.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Consolandian economy, worth 321 trillion Consuses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 102,651 Consuses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Only clowns with PhDs from clown college can advise Consus Magnus on Consoland's coulrophobia epidemic, stony-faced prosecutors play loud gangster rap music during court proceedings, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, and burgers often list "miscellaneous meats" in their ingredients. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Consoland's national animal is the Axolotl, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans, and its national religion is Cult of Consus.

Consoland is ranked 123,491^st in the world and 616^th in the Plains of Perdition for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 1,038.06 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.