The Armed United Territory of Dark Alps is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Army General Staff with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, aversion to nipples, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 2.173 billion Dark Alpsians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fox Valley. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 72.9%.

The powerhouse Dark Alpsian economy, worth 249 trillion Grey crowns a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 114,793 Grey crowns, with the richest citizens earning 5.7 times as much as the poorest.

Slaves aren't half the men they used to be, the sound of wooden legs echo throughout Dark Alps after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax, genetic research is temporarily tied up in government red tape, and every microwave and toaster is being disassembled and probed by inspectors. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dark Alps's national animal is the Silver Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholic Church.

Dark Alps is ranked 38,427^th in the world and 27^th in United Commonwealth for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 2,327.46 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.