The Fiefdom of ElinTol is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Grand High Princess EllElin the Infinite with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, strictly enforced bedtime, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 28.086 billion ElinTolians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of ElinTolopolis Sponsored by Funland Inc. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 78.8%.

The frighteningly efficient ElinTolian economy, worth a remarkable 5,283 trillion Kells a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 188,110 Kells, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 541,662 per year while the poor average 51,889, a ratio of 10.4 to 1.

Looting and pillaging are now considered vital intelligence-gathering activities, assault rifles sized for 7-year-olds are a frighteningly popular export, citizens wishing to leave the country must surrender half their wealth to the government, and the automotive industry soaks up huge government handouts. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. ElinTol's national animal is the Red Squirrel, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Me.

ElinTol is ranked 329,563^rd in the world and 49^th in Atlantis for Safest, scoring 3.38 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.