The Kingdom of Elpia is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, smutty television, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 5.663 billion Elpians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The medium-sized, liberal, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Patina. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 61.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Elpian economy, worth 837 trillion pilas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 147,731 pilas, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 647,371 per year while the poor average 21,232, a ratio of 30.5 to 1.

Labour strikes are routinely squashed by police, foreign 'investors' have been taking a great interest in the new secret shuttle, women give birth underneath so many blankets that the doctor can't feel the bump, and a sudden shout of "surprise!" does not herald a party for teachers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Elpia's national animal is the Elpian fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Ipeonic imperial cult.

Elpia is ranked 11,689^th in the world and 3^rd in Ipeonic Empire for Most Developed, scoring 89.85 on the Human Development Index.