The Empire of Greater Guantanamo is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Edward Alban with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, frequent executions, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.09 billion Guantanamoans are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Albanlandia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 24.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Guantanamoan economy, worth a remarkable 1,428 trillion Pesos a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 176,548 Pesos, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,616,758 per year while the poor average 2,065, a ratio of 782 to 1.

Only the wealthy can afford monorail fares, greased palms have made Edward Alban's office smell like gravy, residents are readily ratting out rats in restaurants, and Guantanamoans caught jaywalking often have their houses seized by the police. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Greater Guantanamo's national animal is the Iguana, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Albanism.

Greater Guantanamo is ranked 300,696^th in the world and 8^th in Alesia for Most Cultured, scoring 44 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.