The Republic of Handler VII is a colossal, genial nation, notable for its compulsory military service, punitive income tax rates, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, devout population of 2.977 billion Handler VIIians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Spirituality, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 52.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Handler VIIian economy, worth 143 trillion Juggernauts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, and Retail. Average income is 48,301 Juggernauts, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens are forced to donate blood once every three months, people are careful to avoid hyperbolising that they'd "rather die" than support Leader, every week is blindness awareness week, and crop circles are intently studied by investigators with questionable merits. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Handler VII's national animal is the Juggernaut.

Handler VII is ranked 95,765^th in the world and 22^nd in Stygian Abbey for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 987.6 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.