The Socialist Pessimists of Hellawi is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Comrade BluzMynki with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, sprawling nuclear power plants, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The compassionate population of 29.335 billion Hellawi are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wherda. The average income tax rate is 92.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Hellawi economy, worth a remarkable 4,641 trillion Mynkis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 158,223 Mynkis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Policemen regularly conduct midnight raids on closed donut shops to 'collect evidence', top universities admit students based on how often they correct interviewers, there's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services, and the government keeps introducing new foreign species to combat the previous ones it has introduced. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hellawi's national animal is the Aardvark, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

Hellawi is ranked 7,426^th in the world and 12^th in Hippy Haven for Largest Populations, with 29.3 billion capita.