The Martyr no cap on god bro of Hermitland is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by ellie with an iron fist, and remarkable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, zero percent divorce rate, and compulsory gun ownership. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 5.994 billion Hermitians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of tiramisuland usa. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 72.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Hermitian economy, worth 747 trillion im poor wtfs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 124,630 im poor wtfs, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 357,844 per year while the poor average 34,516, a ratio of 10.4 to 1.

The Holy Office of the Inquisition is the highest court in the land, money can't buy happiness but it can buy immunity to prosecution, women no longer need to pepper conversations with incessant references to fictitious husbands, and people's charity begins and ends at home. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hermitland's national animal is the Hermit Crab, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is ellieisthebestism.

Hermitland is ranked 54,252^nd in the world and 268^th in the Plains of Perdition for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 3,731.04 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.