The Martyr no cap on god bro of Hermitland is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by ellie with an iron fist, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, infamous sell-swords, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 5.848 billion Hermitians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of tiramisuland usa. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 72.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Hermitian economy, worth 727 trillion im poor wtfs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 124,343 im poor wtfs, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 399,293 per year while the poor average 29,350, a ratio of 13.6 to 1.

The government will gladly pay you next Tuesday for a hamburger today, sleep-deprived officials are known to collapse after late night revision for their examinations, TV coverage of music festivals consists mostly of backstage interviews, and it is still not known if the commander in chief outranks the supreme commander. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hermitland's national animal is the Hermit Crab, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is ellieisthebestism.

Hermitland is ranked 231,006^th in the world and 1,446^th in the Plains of Perdition for Fattest Citizens, with 8.3 Obesity Rate.