The Kingdom of Houde is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by King Cedric Houde with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, aversion to nipples, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 41.006 billion Houdians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Environment, Law & Order, and Education are also considered important, while Welfare and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Hope. The average income tax rate is 67.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Houdian economy, worth an astonishing 11,158 trillion Dollars a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Gambling, and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 272,123 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Light entertainment isn't dead, the running costs of homeless shelters are so high that it would be cheaper to buy houses for the homeless, the Snapgram channel "Embarrassing Baby King Cedric Houde Pics" has made King Cedric Houde's mom a celebrity, and fast-food chefs regularly win Health Innovation Awards for spitting on burgers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Houde's national animal is the Direwolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Druidic.

Houde is ranked 269,595^th in the world and 5^th in The Cursed Continent of Lodoss for Most Primitive, scoring -239.56 on the Scary Big Number Scale.