The Empire of Kirktuffia is a huge, socially progressive nation, renowned for its museums and concert halls, deadly medical pandemics, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 779 million Kirktuffians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 40.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Kirktuffian economy, worth 64.6 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Tourism, Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 82,945 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Government officials are held to the highest standard of morality, government funding shortfalls are often followed by a rise in unsolved murders, the amount welfare recipients spend on fertilizer has exploded, and counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Kirktuffia's national animal is the lion.

Kirktuffia is ranked 101,615^th in the world and 429^th in The Communist Bloc for Smartest Citizens, with 36.31 quips per hour.