The Republic of Kispaming is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Sapagan with a fair hand, and notable for its national health service, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.933 billion Kispamingians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Spagmik. The average income tax rate is 99.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Kispamingian economy, worth a remarkable 2,681 trillion pesos a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 300,184 pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day, professional athletes can't see balls amid the deluge of advertisements, when their backs are against the walls Kispamingians look out for gay men, and the government regularly publishes lengthy reports on its own excessive recordkeeping. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kispaming's national animal is the hamster, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

Kispaming is ranked 82,583^rd in the world and 387^th in the Pacific for Largest Populations, with 8.93 billion capita.