by Max Barry

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Highest Crime Rates: 2,504thLargest Black Market: 3,522ndMost Subsidized Industry: 4,059th
The Founder of
Moralistic Democracy
Founder of Zambia
Influence
Dominator
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Some

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Kitwe

Population30.769 billion

CapitalKitwe
LeaderLeader

Currencycash
Animalbeast

The Founder of Kitwe is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, free-roaming dinosaurs, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, humorless, devout population of 30.769 billion Kitweans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kitwe. The average income tax rate is 85.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Kitwean economy, worth a remarkable 2,847 trillion cashes a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, extremely specialized black market in Information Technology and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 92,530 cashes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods, the nation's faithful often say there is a higher power watching over them, apples shaped like baguettes have become a strange new food fad, and diplomats agree to the terms and conditions of peace treaties without reading them. Crime is pervasive, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Kitwe's national animal is the beast, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kitwe is ranked 71,132nd in the world and 1st in Zambia for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 135.17 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.

Top
1%
Highest Crime Rates: 2,504thTop
5%
Largest Black Market: 3,522ndMost Subsidized Industry: 4,059thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,979thMost Avoided: 5,264thLargest Populations: 5,705thNudest: 5,972ndMost Cultured: 6,327thMost Advanced Public Education: 6,546thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 8,974thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,087thHighest Economic Output: 10,342ndHighest Food Quality: 12,595thHighest Average Tax Rates: 12,597thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,132ndMost Developed: 14,055thTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 19,279thMost Patriotic: 20,302ndMost Conservative: 23,314thHealthiest Citizens: 23,902ndLongest Average Lifespans: 24,046thSmartest Citizens: 30,314th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Kitwe, diplomats agree to the terms and conditions of peace treaties without reading them.
  • : Following new legislation in Kitwe, apples shaped like baguettes have become a strange new food fad.
  • : Following new legislation in Kitwe, the nation's faithful often say there is a higher power watching over them.
  • : Following new legislation in Kitwe, members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods.
  • : Kitwe was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Following new legislation in Kitwe, government-sponsored gallows are being erected by Violetist temples.
  • : Following new legislation in Kitwe, pop stars who make it big overseas are hailed as economic heroes.
  • : Following new legislation in Kitwe, medical staff can legally quiet people who ask for a second helping of Salisbury steak.
  • : Following new legislation in Kitwe, lifelong celibates are surprised to receive government-issue condoms in the post.
  • : Following new legislation in Kitwe, arthritic citizens seem underrepresented at royal meet-and-greets.

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