The Imperial Realm of Linkin Nights is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by King Maximus IX with an iron fist, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, smutty television, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 26.155 billion Linkons are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Social Policy also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bennington. The average income tax rate is 91.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Linkinist economy, worth a remarkable 3,231 trillion Sovereigns a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Furniture Restoration, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 123,541 Sovereigns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Voting for pro-Bigtopian candidates is voluntary, going on a diet invalidates your passport, citizens seem fixated on 105m x 45m rectangles, and former public radio talk pundits are being deployed to front line war zones. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Linkin Nights's national animal is the Harpy Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Church of Linkin.

Linkin Nights is ranked 278,389^th in the world and 279^th in The Land of Kings and Emperors for Most Primitive, scoring -312.99 on the Scary Big Number Scale.