The Popular republic of Lutslavia is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Tzulik Trzuleczuk with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.948 billion Lutslavians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Law & Order, and Industry are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of lutsgrado. The average income tax rate is 98.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Lutslavian economy, worth a remarkable 1,069 trillion Rubljios a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 270,905 Rubljios, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

At the edge of the final frontier space's biggest missile platform is about to unfold, business meetings across the country are interrupted by the sound of squeaking whoopee-cushions, the Ministry of Health has reported a sharp increase in the incidence of delayed menopause, and murderers with law degrees can be seen swinging the gavel in courts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lutslavia's national animal is the Lagarto, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Lutslavia is ranked 292,259^th in the world and 19^th in GRAN PATRIA for Nicest Citizens, with 0.15 average smiles per day.