The Practically Separate Nations of Malos is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Queen Liana with a fair hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, ubiquitous missile silos, and zero percent divorce rate. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 2.568 billion Malosians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Avessa. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 16.1%.

The strong Malosian economy, worth 207 trillion Silas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 80,856 Silas, with the richest citizens earning 8.0 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign aid is a seedy business, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government, and every day has been a surprise since weather reporters turned to consulting ancient totems for their seven-day forecasts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Malos's national animal is the Jaguar, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Malos is ranked 268,891^st in the world and 696^th in Horizon for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 26.3 on the Bus Surprisal Index.