The Holy Empire of New Valerion is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by McLovin with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The quiet, industrious population of 2.464 billion Great Vals are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hella. The average income tax rate is 77.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Valerionian economy, worth 383 trillion Vals a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 155,639 Vals, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

McLovin's Twitcher account is typically used to share Great Valerion Lion memes rather than government policy, many parents are becoming frustrated with their children's choices in spouses, the welfare administration's new sweeping authority has forced the poor and needy to shop from pre-approved grocery lists, and people have been circulating political cartoons of pigeons pooping on McLovin. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Valerion's national animal is the Great Valerion Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is BOOGA BOOGA.

New Valerion is ranked 24,755^th in the world and 86^th in the Plains of Perdition for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 277.63 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.