The ✞ HOLY WARRIORS ✞ of NORTINEW is a massive, orderly nation, renowned for its fear of technology, ban on automobiles, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 2.325 billion NORTINEWIANS are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of NORTI. The average income tax rate is 80.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant NORTINEWIAN economy, worth 16.4 trillion NORTINES a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture and Basket Weaving. Average income is 7,065 NORTINES, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Open-heart surgery is taught in seminaries, Leader has just been declared ruler of NORTINEW in an international press conference, saying that someone looks a bit pale can be construed as hate speech, and government statisticians explain census inaccuracies by declaring that "Sith happens". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. NORTINEW's national animal is the NARWHAL, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

NORTINEW is ranked 313,889^th in the world and 5^th in Imperium of Christian Nations for Highest Average Incomes, with 7,065.49 Standard Monetary Units.