The Matriarchy of Old Maids is a colossal, genial nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape and compulsory military service. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 3.864 billion Old Maidsians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Education, and Welfare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.9%.

The very strong Old Maidsian economy, worth 236 trillion Thimbles a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 61,208 Thimbles, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 178,813 per year while the poor average 16,545, a ratio of 10.8 to 1.

The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, Leader has promised 'power to the puppies', vile black smog from coal power plants has enveloped several major urban centres, and babies are a small but significant export. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent. Old Maids's national animal is the House Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Old Maids is ranked 124,144^th in the world and 4^th in The Nevers for Highest Average Incomes, with 61,208.22 Standard Monetary Units.