The Remote Dominion of Polska Mobiliska is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Per Albin Hansson with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, restrictive gun laws, and suspicion of poets. The quiet, industrious population of 1.837 billion Mobiliskani are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cellularia. The average income tax rate is 38.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Mobiliskan economy, worth 60.1 trillion Zloties a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Woodchip Exports, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 32,727 Zloties, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding", helicopter parenting is on the rise, toast never burns but always has a weird chemical taste, and the nation's infamous rickshaw ambulances often double as hearses. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Polska Mobiliska's national animal is the White-Tailed Eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Nomadism.

Polska Mobiliska is ranked 260,061^st in the world and 64^th in Sphere of Conservative Republics for Fattest Citizens, with 7.05 Obesity Rate.