The Unspeakable Crawling Chaos of Premedite is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Azazel with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, public floggings, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 26.724 billion Subjects are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Labyrinth. The average income tax rate is 90.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Central Labyrinthine economy, worth a remarkable 6,253 trillion Notes a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 233,999 Notes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Biotech companies are fined if their jumbled genetic sequences look too familiar, parents dread their examinations more than their children, babies living in poverty are told to take responsibility for their own fortunes, and the nation's holy places are littered with doughnut crumbs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Premedite's national animal is the Imp, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Non-Denominational.

Premedite is ranked 326,543^rd in the world and 182^nd in Hell for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -17.92 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.