The Italian Protectorate of Res Publica Melitensis is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Magister Romeo de Vallette with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 11.399 billion Malteses have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of La Valletta. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.6%.

The strong Maltese economy, worth 804 trillion Maltese Scudoes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Trout Farming, and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 70,606 Maltese Scudoes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 204,780 per year while the poor average 19,281, a ratio of 10.6 to 1.

Truncheon-mounted cameras record the beating of criminals in dynamic HD detail, the comic book series 'Magister Romeo de Vallette and the Villainous Corporate Cronies' is a best-seller, prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams, and kids these days know how to throw a proper punch. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Res Publica Melitensis's national animal is the Pharaoh Hound, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Res Publica Melitensis is ranked 151,646^th in the world and 65^th in International Democratic Union for Lowest Crime Rates, with 60.9 law-abiding acts per hour.