The Republic of Rescue Report is a massive, efficient nation, remarkable for its irreverence towards religion, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic population of 1.667 billion Rescue Reportians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.3%.

The very strong Rescue Reportian economy, worth 97.6 trillion gold coins a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Furniture Restoration, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 58,577 gold coins, with the richest citizens earning 5.7 times as much as the poorest.

Typing Leader's name into a search engine always gives zero matches, political visitors are forced to stop ten paces from Leader's throne, thousands of former welfare recipients are in a revolutionary uproar as the rest of society is enjoying a hefty tax break, and small businesses are gobbled up almost daily by corporate giants. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Rescue Report's national animal is the black cat, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Rescue Report is ranked 96,575^th in the world and 515^th in Prison for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 34.32 on the Bus Surprisal Index.